Parties and Nightmares...

I went to my friend's birthday-party yesterday. Well, the party started yesterday evening, but her actual birthday is today. Which is why I had to stay until after midnight although I was incredibly tired and had a headache -.- I hate it... ruined the whole evening.

I really didn't want to go there and I was scared, because I knew there wouldn't be any people I really knew. Only Miri and her boyfriend Julian (it's funny that his name is Julian, because he looks a bit like Lovex-Juke xD). And I hate being alone with a couple -.-
I arrived quite early which suited me just fine... it's easier for me when there aren't so many people in the beginning and when I get to know them one by one and not the whole bunch of them at the same time.
So in the beginning there were only Miri, Julian, Julian's flat mates and Freddy, Miri's best friend. That was okay for me, since I had already met Freddy a few times and Julian's flat mates were nice and easy to get along with.

In the end, the night turned out to be okay... I had fun most of the time. The only ones disturbing my mood were Rena and Basti, because they just couldn't stop eating each others faces -.- Which pissed everybody off.

Miri took me to Louis' room sometime where we played singstar... Yaaaay! :D I was nervous although it was only her and me... I'm just too scared to sing in front of other people usually. The first song was I'm not that girl from the musical Wicked (which is a really great Musical <3) and after a few unstable notes (my heart was beating so fast -.-) it went better and better and I had a lot of fun. We were just in the middle of singing Engel aus Kristall from the 3 Musketeers-Musical when suddenly the door opened and Freddy, Veri and Judith came in... I almost panicked -.- But I told myself to just keep singing... and I actually won! With almost double as much points as Miri.
The next song was My Immortal by Evanescence, because I once sung that song in front of Miri - without noticing it *cough* - and she told me she wanted to hear it again because it had sounded so good back then. Oh well, it was her birthday-party, so I decided I'd do her that favor...
Problem was that there were even more people dropping by during that song and I was so scared... so I just closed my eyes after awhile, as I know the lyrics by heart. That made things easier. And I won again

So yeah, the party wasn't as bad as I had feared and I met some nice people :)
I sat in Miri's lap for a while because there weren't any chairs left... I wanted to have it the other way round, because I was sure she was lighter than me. She always was underweight. Well... she gained weight over the last few months, thanks to Julian feeding her^^ And when I told her I was only a bit over 45 kilos at the moment she was like 'Omg! Julian! Give me some chocolate, she's too thin!' xD

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I had a fucking nightmare last night. It still makes me teary when I think about it.
I can't remember it all... I just remember that I was at some kind of party... Miri was there. And Jenny... as in 'the best friend I ever had'-Jenny.
I remember that Jenny had to do something on a little stage and she was really good and I was so proud of her and wanted to tell her so... but when I met her the next time she was totally drunk... I was shocked and wanted to talk to her, but she just yelled at me that I should 'Fucking stop standing in her way' and shoved me out of her way. And I could only watch from a distance when she went over to some guy she called Pat and started kissing him.
I started crying and ran away... Miri went after me and asked me what was happening and I told her... at which she went to fetch Jenny (who fell to the floor because she was so drunk) and I ran over, let myself fall to the floor right beside her, wanting to hit her and yell at her for being so stupid and mean. But all I could do was cry and switch between telling her I hated her and telling her I loved her...
That's when I finally woke up and started crying for real.

Stupid dream... I know she'd never do something like that... but still it scared me.